:: getting 'beach'-iy ::

 Its done! family days 2010 in Port Dickson, Seremban. Its fun as usual, but a lil bit dull to me. Maybe coz atok was not there joining us. But the happy days still going on great. We had another two new family members, abby n ayu. As usual we spend the whole 'days' just in the pool or the beach. Oh! There's something new. They tried the banana boat, the jet-ski and the sofa kinda thing (i don't know how to describe it). Its a wonderful experience for them. Me? Too scared to try. woot~ Anyways, we all had fun! and makan banyak. hehe! thanked to whole family for the great days!! peace!!

:: missing you ::

you never know what you have until u lose it. and once u lose it u, u can never get it back 

-= oh yeah! this is so related to me. i had him. i totally got him that 
     time. but once i cheated on him. sigh* i 
     lose him and i can never get him back :(  p/s: yeap! ini adalah 
     satu luahan perasaan melalui quotes.

i'm holding on to something that used to be there, hoping it will come back, knowing it wont. 

-= after few months i lose him, i got him back. That moment was  

     amazing but he changed. he's not the same person anymore. 
     I am hoping n hoping for him to be like he used to be but its just 
     a dream.

I want to be with you tonight, tomorrow and today it can't happen now but it will someday. 

-= And its over. Again. yeah. i'll be waiting. i'm sure that one day we

     will be together (sob.sob.) i know that u still have a piece of me

     in ur heart (a piece je??!).

Nothing hurts more than waiting since I don't even know what i'm waiting for.

-= My fave quote! yeap. i admit it. I'm tired of waiting n hoping n 

     sometimes i dont even know what i'm hoping for. u make me 

     confused!

Goodbye is only truly painful if you know you'll never say hello again.

-= i said it. Good bye. Take care. Deep in my heart i never wanted to

    do that. n now am scared to say hello. This happen to us many

    times and i feel like I'm driving without knowing the road.

I am here and you are there- one of us is in the wrong place!

-= i want you back. and i will not do the same mistake again.

If home is where the heart is, then wherever you are, thats my home.

-= What i have with him is worth it. It is worth every lonely night, 

     every tear i cry for missing him, and the pain i feel for not having

     him close. It is worth it because he is my one and only. When i 

     picture myself years from now, i see only him. No matter how

     painful distance can be, not having him in my life would be 

     worse. (both are quotes actually -_-)

* i changed my mind. It was not just about memories. Its about love.

:: i 'butterfingered' myself ::

Tiada kata secantik bahasa
Untuk ku puji adinda
Tiada gambar secantik lukisan
Nak ku tunjuk perasaan

Oh... dinda puspa gemala
Mengharum jiwa
Hmm...

Oh... dinda puspa gemala
Mustika kanda...

Walau musim berubah
Suasana bertukar
Tapi ikatan mesra
Sikit pun takkan longgar

Tiada kata secantik bahasa
Untuk ku puji adinda

:: blinded for the truth ::

Ok this evening mcm terdengar satu pepatah kat radio 'Is it real love or its just the memory remains?? Thinking about my situation, hmm yes! i think this feeling is only caused by the memories that we faced together. 


Sigh* This is just another streak from my heart. Seriously i got nothing to write in my blog. K fine. Why do i miss him if he didn't miss me back. 'Why do i care when he doesn't even think about me. Why do i always dream if he can be the old person i know, but eventually he will never. Why do i love him when he doesn't love me back. 


Ok Mr. DJ, anda mmg 100% tepat. Its only because of the memories. Yea. I'm too scared to let those beautiful, dazzling, twinkly love angel moment to disappear from my life. I'm too scared till i blinded myself to see the fact that he doesn't love me anymore. 


Thanks Mr. DJ. Sebab bg saye semangat n kekuatan untuk lupekan die. yeay! Lets ignore him for a meantime. He'll find me if he really loves me kann?? Lagipon, there's so many kumbang lain other than him. Peace yaw!

:: daddy daddy ::

Ayah suka air manis. Suke sgt. Now ayah ade kencing manis. hmm. Am so worried. Ayah taknak mkn. Ayah makan sikit sgt. Ayah tak suka mkn ikan. He has a very unpredictable appetite Sometimes he eat much but sometimes he eat too little. am so worried daddy. :(

U know how much i owe u. I know how much u gave up ur life for us. U dont tell, but i know. I know. Lunchtime semlm ayah masak telur dadar. Just the way he likes it. Bawang mst hangus sikit oke?  hee. i love u much daddy!!! so much!!! bila tgk ayah, sedih sgt. die makin kurus. he has so many secrets that he nvr ever tells us. 

If i got married someday, i want a guy who just like u. YOU! hee. gatal plak nk kawen. Hey, am big enough already oke?? big in size la tapi. wink* (proud of it oke?)hee. ok2, ayah mmg sgt funny sometimes. Kdg2 garang sgt! Tapi, hanya dia tahu all the secrets of my life. bad things i've done. good things i've done. he knows it all. N he understands me. He knew why i did it. I did it because of them. mak, ayah, kakngah, ijat. I bet ayah knows more :) I love u daddy, again and forever!! God bless you. Lastly ayah, sleek ur hair and peace!! ILY!

:: boring day ::

ok, seriously! its boringgg. Dunno what else to do. Sigh* I hate when i have to wake up early but then, people in this house keep annoys me like 'kak long, kenape salu sgt bgn lmbt ni?' and maybe a long scream like 'makk!! tgk kakak ni'. Grrrrrr!! geramnyeeeee!!! p/s: qis, u r getting more stubborn right now. Uhuh! better watch out kakak. What happened to u?? or mybe ur hormon is getting unstable like me?? 

Ok fine. See now kids?? kak long dunno what to do until she's stuck in front of her laptop early in the morning. My mum plak keep asking me why am always like cliched on my lappy. Come on mummy, its urban age right now and we, as teens (TEENs ke???) are busy with our facebook and skype thing. Its very important u know, mummy. Hehe. dang~ 

Ok. proven! mmg boring. even typing this also makes me boring. woot~! Ok andak, y dont we stick to your plan and go to malacca and maybe watch a movie there. Saye setuju sangat!! sudah lame tak berjalan2. wee~ Hopefully the plan will goes on. And me gonna think of what to wear. hmmmm. What to wear ek?? Ok. better check my closet n choose the wardrobe. 

Seriously ika? Do u really think dat its gonna happen?? Sigh* Though, its a good thing. Maybe i will find something precious like my missing skirts, missing tops and a missing lipstick. Ok now, lets geledah the almari yg penuh dan sgt bersepah itu. ding*ding* sleek your hair and peace guys!!

:: HANYUT ::

Harus bagaimana lagi dan terus begini
Dengarkan aku
melihat kemataku
cukup sudah kau menghukum
salahku tetap salahku
Benarkan ku berbicara
agar bisa pulih semua
Namun harus sampai bila kau kan diam
Seribu bahasa

Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu,
Fahamilah ku tak mampu terus tanpa kamu,
Bagaimana ku nanti,, bila tiada mengganti,
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja...

Saat mata terpejam,
Hanya kau ku terbayang,
Menghapus semua segala resah di jiwaku...
Saat mata terbuka,
Kamulah yang pertama,
Tak mampu aku bayangkan hidup tanpa dirimu...

Aku memang bersalah,
Selalu saja mengabaikan mu,
Dan tapi dah ku sedari segala perit kau lalui ku terlupa kau terluka,
Dan memang selalu aku bersalah, selalu saja mengabaikan meninggalkanmu,
Dan tetapi telah aku sedari segala perit yang kau lalui kerna diriku yang terus hanyut

Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu,
Bagaimana ku nanti,, bila tiada mengganti,
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja...
Bagaimana ku nanti,, bila kau tak di sisi
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja...

4.07 AM on AIDILADHA

I'm building and writing in a blog again since i left it from 2009. will update soon!!